In what can only be described as a bizarre turn of events, local man Derek Haines, 42, has found himself facing an unexpected transformation after consuming an astonishing 375 cream teas in just three weeks.

The Devon native, who lives in the seaside village of Sidmouth, reportedly began his culinary binge as part of an “experiment” to test the local legend that cream teas—scones, clotted cream, and jam—are the true secret to long life. However, it seems that Derek’s passion for the iconic treat has led to some unforeseen consequences.

“I’ve always loved a good cream tea,” Derek explained while being treated at the Royal Devon and Exeter Hospital. “But after my 50th scone, something felt… different. I thought I was just bloated, but then I realized I could barely see over my shoulders and my head was a bit… rounder than usual.”

It wasn’t long before Derek’s neighbors took notice. “At first, we thought he had just gotten really into it,” said his friend Tom Lawrence. “But after a few more days, we realized something was wrong. His hair had completely disappeared and he started to look… like a scone. Not even a good scone—a bit stale.”

Medical professionals are baffled by Derek's condition. Dr. Fiona Wren, a leading expert in food-related mutations, says it’s unlike anything she’s ever seen before. “While we’ve seen people develop strange cravings or reactions to certain foods, this is unprecedented. His head has quite literally transformed into a scone—complete with a jam-filled center. We’re trying to figure out if it's some kind of allergic reaction, or if this is just a truly unique case of overindulgence.”

As of this morning, Derek’s condition has only worsened. Local bakeries are reportedly concerned about a potential increase in “scone-related incidents” throughout the region, with some warning that the mass consumption of cream teas could cause a “scone pandemic” in the coming months.

While Derek’s transformation has left the community in shock, it hasn’t dampened his love for cream teas. “I mean, I’m a scone now,” he said with a grin, “so technically, I’m still eating what I love. The jam’s the best part anyway.”

Derek’s friends are trying to stay positive. “We’re just hoping his head doesn’t get any fluffier,” Tom Lawrence said.

Meanwhile, health experts are warning the public to enjoy cream teas in moderation and to be wary of any “overindulgence-related metamorphoses.” The NHS has issued a special statement, urging people to take it easy on the scones—before they turn into one.

In related news, Devon’s annual Cream Tea Festival has announced it will be offering a "new, head-scone-free" recipe for this year’s event.

More updates to follow on this developing story.